Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Stop with the excuses

I am a person that loves fitness, enjoys working out, likes to eat healthy and LOVES to be in shape. When you strip away all my layers this is what you will find. This is who I am. Where and at what point did I lose sight of that. When did I lose control? Why did I let myself go? 


People say that you lose yourself when you become a Mother and sometimes when you become a wife. I truly believe that. Its not intentional. It just sort of happens and then one morning you wake up and don't recognize the body you are in and the person you have transformed into. Then you carry on sometimes with a chip on your shoulder a little jealous bug in your ear. Why did I let this happen? Who am I? Who robbed me of all my clothes and left me with this hunger for rich foods and sweet desserts. 
Once you stop blaming everyone and everything else. Once you STOP with the excuses and take responsibility for the path that led you here, you can take control and start making some changes. 
This is and was me. With the extra pounds I put on, I hid under layers and layers of excuses. I tried to protect myself from taking responsibility. Fail. I lost sight of what was important to me. I stopped caring about myself and lost myself in caring for my family. Its easy to do. I did it. 
Well Im not doing it anymore. Im making changes. Im taking responsibility and I have stopped making excuses. 
I walked into that delivery room weighing in at 206 pounds. THAT is unheard of. I delivered a 8 lb. 9oz baby girl that has taken my breath away. Within the first month I was down 24 pounds. It was awesome and I felt great. Then I noticed clothes were getting smaller and I was feeling lazier. Then I saw a picture of myself and didn't recognize the face staring back at me. Who was this chubby cheek double chin girl. From behind I didn't look like myself. I resembled a linebacker. Yes I did. SO I did the dreaded task of stepping on the scale and VERY QUICKLY jumped off like the damn thing burned my feet. REALLY??!!!! That scale is broken THERE IS NO WAY I gained 12 pounds back. BUT I did. It was me all me. 
A friend referenced her and myself as "big" girls. Nothing against ANYONE else but I was not going to be in the Big girl category and be ok with it. I am not naturally a big girl. 
So I started a bootcamp. Two times a week. I couldn't run the 4 laps without stopping. I made excuses and I didn't change my diet. Nothing happened. I was taking baby steps. 
In order for me to get the results I wanted and desperately needed I couldn't take baby steps. I had to leap off of this friggin ride and jump head first no looking back. This is when I stumbled across Fitness Rehab/SASS fitness. I walked in on my first day with no expectations and no clue what to expect. I saw my new "Trainer" in her army pants that clung to every beautiful curve and new I was in for it. I left there with a membership for my husband (If I was gonna get my a$$ kicked on a daily basis he was going to as well) I could barely walk for the next week. For the first month I saw small victories. So small that only if you were paying attention would you notice. The gym is different then any run of the mill gym. You dont just show up whenever you want and get your workout on. Its structured. For me, that works. This is what I need. The classes are offered throughout the day for the early morning risers to the after work draggers. You can get your butt kicked at bootcamp flipping tires, holding planks with Debbie in Core, spinning away your worries, heightened yoga (not to be confused with traditional yoga, heightened yoga is NOT for sissies), braving the monkey bars, swinging kettle balls. Well you get the picture. 
Sandra cute little Sandra, means business. You come to her with NO excuses and only when you are serious about changing your life. She is my breath of fresh air. She has given me hope and for the first time in a very long time, I notice the difference. My body is changing and Im starting to see a glimpse of  "ME". 



No comments: